In-flight internet (dis)Service

With the new policy of allowing internet data within the flight time for international flights, it makes me deeply ponder, as to how the different set of passengers who are cooped up in the airplane, tap into this opportunity.

Let me apply some basic psychological principles and profile the different type of personalities into 4 broad categories:

  1. The Workaholics
  2. The Entertainment seekers
  3. The Timepass fellas
  4. The Sloathy Sleep catchers

Type 1. The Workaholics

  • These are the most serious and no-nonsense type of people, mostly the CXOs. Often referred to as the bosses sitting in the corner offices, they will now be operating from the offices in the stratosphere! They will spot this offering as an icing on the cake and control the businesses. Maybe that their future aspirations will now be to operate from space (Elon Musk will make this possible) extending further to operating from other planets (Thanks to NASA Mars Rover mission)
  • Well, what about the reporters/employees? We may have a new statement prominently featuring on the J.D / KRA of employees who are frequent flyers. That includes the Business continuity plan through the flights now termed as Flight business continuity

Type 2. The Entertainment Seekers

  • These set of passengers stress high on entertainment continuity plan quotient. They are popularly termed as the Amazon and Netflix loyalists.
  • In fact, Amazon and Netflix can cash on this opportunity and provide a special plan sexily titled “Air Time Entertainment Plan” which will surely upsurge their in-flight time subscription. This will allow Viewership extending beyond the now limited in flight (not-so) entertainment.

Type 3. The Time Pass Fellas

  • Yet another group likes to kill time by observing others. That includes the hot- chicks, rarely found amongst the fellow passengers but always found amongst the air hostesses
  • These curious lots also do a quick check across their physiological field of vision, to observe if there are any celebrity co-passengers. If spotted, they force not so welcome selfies with the celebrities and also instantaneously update the status/DPs on their social media pages much to the envy of their on-ground friends. After the flight landing, they proudly proclaim and brag about this so-called achievement and sink themselves in the rush of “Paisa vasool”

Type 4. The Sloathy Sleep catchers

  • These are the most indifferent set of people. They conveniently ignore all the above set of people, as nothing but the sleep-attainment is more enticing to them.
  • They use the flight therapy to catch up with some sleep and temporarily treat their Insomnia. The roaring engines feel like the lullaby to their ears and the turbulence makes them feel as if they are being rocked in a cradle.

Disclaimer: The above write-up is meant for only entertainment purposes. To check the claims made, please onboard an international flight and share your feedback through the in-flight Internet data.

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